by Brennen Reeves
A mom who played college basketball. A dad who entered the army at eighteen. A brother who received a football scholarship after high school. That’s my family.
Me, I like theatre and acting.
I like to workout. I can do most anything, though I tire when I run. Running, not a daunting task for anyone else in my family- nor was the ability to put on weight or the ability to gain muscles. Both were and still remain a struggle of mine today. I understand the weight section- I have CF, my heart beats faster than other hearts, my digestive tract is not on track and diabetes is well, diabetes. Sadly, I cannot understand why I cannot gain muscle. Or turn the muscle that now exists to a lean quality.
I exercise just as much as the next person.
My parents and brother, they’re athletes. Sure, being athletic doesn’t necessarily mean you possess muscle, but my family did. I retained some of those genes. I played baseball, I owned a lacrosse stick, I love to golf. I count that as a sport (so what if I ride in the cart?).
I have coordination.
I received a bilateral lung transplant over 7 years ago. Within that gap, and day by day I become more flexible, stronger, newly energized, with no luck of further muscle growth. The weight is there. Up about thirty-five pounds. But how come there is no significant muscle gain, or the leanness to which I work for? Could it be a diet issue? Because the thirty, sixty, ninety day routine after these 7 years has been ineffective. I still come up short and this lets me down, my physical appearance.
I’m 5’6” and weigh around 120lbs. My body is symmetrically balanced. I have new lungs. There’s the determination- so why this outcome or lack of?
This is not a lecturer post but more a collaborative question- what is your secret? Do you have a secret? Is it a secret?
Sure, I still have CF, yes, my heart still beats faster than other hearts, yes, my digestive tract needs aligning, and well, diabetes still remains diabetes. Just about every other facet since my surgery has changed, emotionally, physically, etc., and my body is still present just with a little more weight with nowhere to go.
I challenge this. Could it be the severed nerves under my breast plate have yet to heal or reconnect, making it harder to attract muscle in this area? The numbness from my shoulders on down through the wrists lose feelings during most points of the day, is that a sign indicating powerless limbs?
“7years. Brennen your body needs more time to heal”
or could it just be my body?