7 Things Your Partner with CF Probably Isn’t Telling You

By Hannah Buck

Being in a committed, loving, long-term relationship is a distinctly intimate experience. It is the most intimate experience of humanhood many would argue. To see a person walking by and say to them, “Hey, you’re fairly OK-looking. Would you like to hold hands for forever and accrue debt until we die?” is to truly know companionship. That, and watching each other poop.

Chronic illness makes dating a thoroughly more vulnerable experience, and not just for the patient. You see, sickness affects everyone involved. It accelerates everything. Sickness makes daily life complicated (e.g. planning dates that aren’t physically taxing or one partner relying more on the other for help with everyday chores) and the future even less promising than it usually is. When you or your partner has a condition like cystic fibrosis, the bleak reality of your situation is sorely evident. It’s inescapable. One of you will die much sooner than the other. And with that intense reality flashing its lights 24/7, it can be tempting to hold things in.

I don’t speak for all people with CF in writing the following list — but by sharing what I’ve withheld in past romantic relationships, I hope to make you laugh, open your eyes, and help you become a better partner to the person whose hand you like to hold. Enjoy.

Things your partner with CF probably isn’t telling you

1. They’ve been wetting your bed for a while.

Have you ever rolled over in the middle of the night to feel a damp spot on the mattress? Has your girlfriend been known to spontaneously wash your sheets and comforter out of the goodness of her heart? Yeah, sorry to break it to you, it’s not because she’s an angel. It’s because she has coughing-induced, premature incontinence, and she doesn’t want you to know.

2. Their antibiotics give them diarrhea.

It just happens, OK! We don’t ask for this! Antibiotics have one mission: to kill. This includes good gut bacteria, which unfortunately messes up our tummies. Make your partner’s day by surprising them with a bottle of probiotic-rich kombucha to get things back on track.

3. They’d prefer if you looked away during their cough attacks.

Coughing ain’t cute. Yes, yes, I know you love them, but try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. If you were red in the face, foaming at the mouth, hunched over like the Notre Dame character, and spewing phlegm like a swampy sprinkler, would you want the love of your life to gaze longingly upon you? Probably not. Give ’em space.

4. They wish you visited them in the hospital more.

They just feel too guilty to say it out loud. It is unspeakably lonely to sit in a small room and face the same wall every day. Please, even if they insist they’re fine, be there for them. Stop by. Make the time. If you can’t do that, text, call, or video chat. While 24 hours pass by in a snap in the outside world, in the hospital, the hours drag like you wouldn’t believe.

5. It makes them really happy when you randomly flex your CF knowledge.

Showing your partner that you care about them enough to not only learn about their disease but about how it’s treated is an instant way to grow closer. For many of us, the only people we have to confide in about this part of our lives is our medical team, our family, and occasionally other CFers (but only online). Take the time to learn what’s what — get the medication names right, make yourself an ally, and demonstrate that the two of you are teammates in this fight.

6. Explaining what’s “wrong” with them to other people makes their life so much easier.

With this one, I want to repeat my disclaimer: I am speaking for myself, and every person with CF is different. Please talk to your partner before taking this advice.

With that said, I have always found it to be an incredible relief when my partner discreetly says, “She has something called CF, so she coughs a lot. It’s normal. So anyway … ” and then changes the subject when I have a cough attack around people who don’t know me. Explaining myself is something I’ve had to do my entire life, so having someone else do it for me is a treat I savor every time.

7. They don’t feel worthy of your love, and they feel guilty about loving you.

I hope this one isn’t true for you guys. In my case, it is, and I suspect it’ll be a lifelong battle. Having an incurable illness is a heavy burden to bear, but when you’re born with it, there’s no other option. Putting it on another person, though, that’s different. That isoptional. And it can feel impossible to justify exposing the person whose hand you like holding to that level of lifelong pain.

This post originally appeared on CF News Today.

How to Beat Brain Fog

By Wendy Caroline

As I sat down to write my column for this week, a massive wave of writer’s block hit me. This has been plaguing me for a while. Great timing, right?!

I started five different column pieces, each of which I would get a solid start on, and then nothing. I stopped understanding where the piece was going and didn’t like any of the words that I was writing. A few years ago, I started developing chronic fatigue. It started slowly, then quickly snowballed. In the past year, it has developed into brain fog. Very frustrating. I love using my brain for writing, reading, problem-solving, and critical thinking. It increasingly feels like cystic fibrosis is taking all these parts of my personality away from me. So here I am today, compiling a list of some tips and tricks that I use to combat brain fog and feel a little more like myself.

1. Don’t force it.

I can’t tell you how many times I have blocked my own brain by trying to force my way through brain fog. “Just do it.” How many times have we heard that? Unfortunately, at least for me, if I “just do it” and try to force myself to work through the brain fog, it just puts up more blocks. Then I get frustrated, and all I can think about is how I can’t think. It just spirals from there.

Cool, so how do you get past brain fog and still make your deadlines (because if you’re forcing it, that’s often why)? Be ahead of the game. I am guilty of this not being a natural instinct. In fact, I’m still learning how to do this. I used to be a procrastinator. I would thrive under the stress. My brain fog does not. Now I start writing and drafting at least a week before.

2. Get inspired.

One of the best ways to get inspired is to look to others. CF News Today columnist Brad Dell’s latest piece about brain fog directly inspired this post. It got me thinking about my own experience with brain fog, and how I have been insanely frustrated by its hold on my life. Find a piece of other people’s lives or the world around you that makes you think about your own. Capture it and go. I find that making a note of these inspirations in a note-taking app on my phone really helps because brain fog causes forgetfulness.

2. Create the mood.

Ditch the phone and whatever other fancy gizmos that cause a distraction. Find the type of environment that makes you feel inspired and ready to work. For me, that’s open space with lots of natural light and structured seating.

Next, put on some music — music that is going to make you focus and productive. My go-to is this Classical Essentials playlist on shuffle. This helps me drown out enough thoughts that I won’t get distracted without drowning out the thoughts that I need to work. Whatever you listen to, just make sure it doesn’t have words.

It’s also important to get your brain in the right mood. My brain fixates on chores and tasks that need doing, so I always make sure to get those done before I sit down to write. Also yoga and meditation, that’s some great stuff.

4. Let it flow.

A friend of mine gave me this very useful tip. Just let the words flow out of you, even if you don’t like them. When I use this technique, I have to write everything my heart desires and then walk away. Don’t reread it right then. You will get frustrated. Instead, write all you can and come back to it after you’ve had a solid break. For me, this is usually the next day. Your rough work can have a really good base but just needs to be re-worked.

I know that these tips and tricks are focused on writing, but I use the general ideas in all aspects of my life. Whether it is work, family, friends, or hobbies, brain fog can affect every aspect of your life. It’s one of the reasons that I haven’t been very active on any of my social media platforms — Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, and even my blog. As my brain fog developed into almost a daily issue, I took a step back and prioritized what I needed to focus on first. I truly believe that as these steps of beating brain fog become a habit, I will be able to handle more. Hopefully, you’ll see me around the internet again real soon.

» Find me on the internet at The Living, Breathing Wendy «

This article was originally published on CF News Today.

This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

Jerry Cahill’s CF Podcast: The Pre-Transplant Process with Dr. Emily DiMango

The latest video in The Path Forward with Cystic Fibrosis series, Dr. Emily DiMango, Director of the Gunnar Esiason Adult CF Program at Columbia University Medical Center, discusses the lung transplant process through the lens of a CF doctor.

First, she reviews the importance of CF patients participating in drug trials in order to start life-changing medications sooner. She then answers the following questions:

· What does pre-transplant management look like for a CF patient?
· When is the right time to be referred to the list?
· What is the referral process like?

Finally, she reiterates the importance of well-rounded treatment that includes physical health, nutritional health, and emotional health.

This video was originally posted on JerryCahill.com

Stream “Up for Air” Documentary this Month for Free!

Jerry Cahill‘s documentary, “Up for Air”, provides viewers with an inside look at his personal fight for survival while living with #CF. During national #DonateLifeMonth (4/1 – 4/30) use the code: BEANORGANDONOR to watch the documentary for FREE! Tap the link to watch: https://vimeo.com/137872395

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Introducing Jerry Unplugged!

We are thrilled to announce that Jerry Cahill has launched, Jerry Unplugged, a new blog segment on his site.  Jerry is a Delta F508 and R117H #CF patient who is post double-lung transplant by 6 years this April! Not only is Jerry an advocate for #CFAwareness, but he is a coach, athlete, and friend! Join him on his journey as he shares his insights, experiences, and explains why he cannot fail❗
Stay tuned for much more of #JerryUnplugged!

Read the first blog here: http://www.jerrycahill.com/who-am-i/

Continue reading Introducing Jerry Unplugged!

CF Podcast 159: Cystic Fibrosis Medical Support Team

In this podcast, we hear from Jerry’s CF medical team about his journey with CF and life post-transplant. They share how they work as a team to make patients with CF feel cared for and supported. For Jerry, because of the extensive amount of time he spends with them, his doctors and nurses at Columbia University Continue reading CF Podcast 159: Cystic Fibrosis Medical Support Team

Watch Jerry Cahill on CBS with Dr. Max Gomez

Jerry Cahill was featured on CBS Evening News with Dr. Max Gomez in a segment called, CF Survivor. It aired on CBS on June 15th, 2016. It is about Jerry Cahill, who is in a new documentary about his life called, Up For Air. It illustrates his drive to succeed with CF and how he never gave up. Four years post double lung transplant, Jerry is about to turn 60 in a few weeks. He continues to inspire many Continue reading Watch Jerry Cahill on CBS with Dr. Max Gomez

Boomer Esiason Foundation Announces Documentary Up For Air to Inspire Patients with Cystic Fibrosis to Become Active in Their Health

http://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20160607005510/en/Boomer-Esiason-Foundation-Announces-Documentary-Air-Inspire

The Boomer Esiason Foundation (BEF) today announced the documentary, Up For Air, which will premiere in a private screening on June 20, 2016 in New York City. The documentary follows Jerry Cahill, a 60-year-old pole-vaulting coach living Continue reading Boomer Esiason Foundation Announces Documentary Up For Air to Inspire Patients with Cystic Fibrosis to Become Active in Their Health

Celebrating 4 Years Post Transplant with Jerry Cahill

Gunnar Esiason sat down with BEF CF Ambassador Jerry Cahill recently to find out more about his double lung transplant and the way his life has changed since he had the procedure 4 years ago. Jerry shares the many ways in which he has traded certain CF issues for complications that come Continue reading Celebrating 4 Years Post Transplant with Jerry Cahill

United States Children with Cystic Fibrosis are Living Longer

MONDAY, Aug. 18, 2014 (HealthDay News) — In the United States, children born in 2010 with cystic fibrosis (CF) are projected to live longer than those born earlier, according to a study published in the Aug. 19 issue of the Annals of Internal Medicine. Continue reading United States Children with Cystic Fibrosis are Living Longer